That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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