Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize