you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
