Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
