We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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