So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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