ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
