If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
