I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
