all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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