birth control should be required to get into college
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
