Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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