Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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