oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
