STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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