she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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