Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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