You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
