I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
