Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
