Ambien. No doubt about it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
