North Korea, Best Korea!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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