i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
