His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
