I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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