I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
