I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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