Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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