So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you would pick up someone in the library
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
