If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
