Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
