Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
