I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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