How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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