are you still at the devil's house?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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