I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is Oprah even human
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
