Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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