So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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