how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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