just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize