Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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