you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
