You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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