I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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