Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize