We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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