2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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