Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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