We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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