Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
