I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
