You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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