Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
