I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
