I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
