i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
