Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
