Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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