Christians are straight up FREAKS
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize