Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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