you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
